My husband is on a business trip. Only a week but the peace of these few days is so relaxing. I am having a hard time finishing my school work or completing a home project because I just want to relax.
I am not in love with him anymore. I used to adore him but that's the turf of Terri Cusic now. I no longer adore him. I love him still. All the things I loved about him are still there. He's funny. He's smart. He's strong. He enjoys plays and movies and books and travel. We love our dogs. We love our home.
But I'm not in love with him anymore.
For this week I don't have to think about who he fucked. I don't have images of him and Terri Cusic naked in a motel room. I can enjoy my garden.
When I think of him and Terri Cusic I can feel my breathing get fast and my heart speed up. I can feel the tension in my jaw that causes a headache. I become anxious. I think of revenge. I don't like thinking of revenge but why does she get to walk away from this pain? Fucking bitch. I'd like to fuck her up. I'd like to ruin her life.
Revenge is never as good in real life as in fantasy. What a bummer. I'd like to ruin her life.
"Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure." Mark Twain
