I noticed something else about this time. I began to focus on the tone of my husband's voice when he spoke to me or others on the phone.
When a man called he would give a hearty "Hey!" When a woman called it was a lower, more intimate, "Hey, what are you doing?" If I called him at work and he was "busy" he would answer with a very gruff "Ya, I'm busy." If he wasn't busy it was a "Hello, my love!" I realized he didn't want to say that in front of his co-workers so I asked him to just say hello and let me know he was occupied. He told me when he was busy he didn't think about being nice. I told him that when he talked to me like that it made me feel unwanted and second-class. When others called and he was busy he didn't answer the phone that way. He told me that it was different when I called. I was his wife.
It seemed like such a small petty thing. To demand someone talk to you in a specific tone when you called seemed so controlling. I decided it was a quirk I had to live with.
